RanDUMB Blurb #6: Defense Mechanisms

Picture it: You are in a great courtship with someone. Everything is going well, and all of a sudden things go terribly awry! You sit back and wonder how in the world did you let this happen...you wonder why were all of my feelings in it. For some people (such as myself) we tend to not even let it get that far...you wanna know why?? We have this little thing that helps us called a DEFENSE MECHANISM! LOL

Honestly, It can be a great thing and it can be a very bad thing as well. The good part about it is that you never fully experience heartache and disappointment, because you have a wall up! The bad thing is you never can truly let someone in, and in the end you lose out on a possibly great thing. So what does a person with raised guard do??? First, Take your time. Don't let it down quickly but slowly begin to let the person you choose in a little bit a time. Nothing happens over night, and the people that we choose to let in need to understand that. Personally, I'm not mean, rude, or disinterested. I just get scared at times, and I pull away because I feel like I may "be into someone more than they are into me". I don't want a "fly-by-night" thing and I don't want my feelings hurt in the end so I tend to pull away. People with defense mechanisms are NOTORIOUS for this! In the past this has been what prevented me from pursuing all of the possibilities with certain people. Next, just be you...plain and simple! Having a wall up doesn't mean you need to become a completely different person. You are special just the way you are, and the person YOU choose to spend YOUR time with needs to see YOU for YOU!! Finally, just take a FREAKIN chance. At times it may not work in your favor, but when it does, it just FEELS SO RIGHT ;). You never know what can happen until you just pursue it, and stop over thinking all parts of it. That's the best part of letting your wall down!!

Now, by no means do I know EVERYTHING about everything, but I know what it is because I've been through it. I am also working through it too! I had to see this for myself and learn the hard way! I have let very good people go because of my insecurities and trust issues, but I have to put that aside and take a chance. We all have things we are scared of, but we really need to conquer whatever it is. We are all scared of the unknown in some aspect of our lives whether it be love or starting anew, but there is truly no need to be! WE are our defense mechanisms! We hide behind our hurt, our pain, and our pasts! We do it because it easier to hide than to man up and face it! It takes time, but trust me it is WELL worth it!