Blessings....

I feel that I have been the recipient of so many blessings lately that it is absolutely overwhelming. My blessings aren't necessarily monetary or material, they are found in the friendships that I have. I am so humbled to even know the people that I know, and THEY are my blessings. When I hear a friend of mine talk about how I've impacted their live, I have to step out of myself and figure out why. I truly believe that once you let go of the things that are superficial and dumb, you can truly see yourself as a good person. For a long time I had a problem seeing that, because certain things internally got in the way of that. I feel like I am a damn good person, and because of it, I'm so much better off! I've had a lot of time to sit and think, and I think I have jumped over some serious hurdles. While I still have trust issues, they no longer run my life. I know that I am a good person, and if you take advantage of me, you will be dealt with somehow. I have learned to let go because I finally have people in my corner that I truly trust and can "let my hair down" with. Some I'm still working on because they STILL have a ways to go when it comes to my trust. I thank the FEW people who've listened to my cry (which I don't do in front of just anyone) and talked me through stuff! It feels good to be able to bear it all to only a few people. I don't need everyone knowing my situation....that's a whole 'nother blog post!

I am so grateful to have people who GENUINELY care, and are truly out for my best interest! Those people are really hard to come by. I am a very strong person, but it feels good to let your guard down to someone you trust! I am who I am with everyone who knows me, but there are certain aspects of my life that I am very private about and are for "exclusive and limited screening" LOL

NOTHING LIKE GREAT FRIENDS

P.R. Reid

Been Gone...UPDATE

October:

I finished my application and took the GRE a week later. I met my goal on the writing part, and then all I could do was wait.

November:

I found out that I am headed to graduate school!!! YAY!!! I'm really excited, but I am a little nervous! After much reinforcement I do believe that I will be ok! I have so many people that are proud of me, so I really have to do what I have to do.

December:

Ready for the holidays. This is has got to be the hardest time of the year sometimes. I really start to miss my mom!

Until Later

P.R. Reid

Completion feels awesome!!!!

I am PRACTICALLY done with this application!!! It feels awesome!

"IT"=Sex Appeal

I have been told that I have something calledIT! Now I'm not exactly sure what it is but I guess I can take it as a compliment! I guess it could be sex appeal, but I don't know! Personally, I don't see it LOL! I'm just me...silly girl just finally comfortable with herself! I think I am the most sexually awkward person I know. I'm just sayin, I just don't really consider myself sexy. I think I prefer sensual LOL! But any who that's just whats been on my noodle for a while! I've always been the play the background/reserved/quiet girl and that pretty much suits me just fine! It could be a problem in future relationships, but right now I'm coolin! Lovin life and those who CHOOSE to be in it!

But maybe, that isn't such a bad thing...I've always kinda wished I could see myself as the ultra sexy vixen type of gal! Hmmmm I may have to explore this side a bit more...she's in there she is just waiting to come out! Wonder who will be so lucky as to experience it hehe :P

Sexy may not be ALL bad!

P. R. Reid

Love

Do I believe in love at first sight? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I do believe it exists, but I feel that it's something that takes a while to happen! I have loved and I have lost, and I truly believe that's life. I have not been ruined by it, only made stronger and smarter. I'm not so beaten up by love that I don't believe in it because I still feel like *HE* is somewhere waiting for me! I will not give up hope but I will NOT let down my guard...yet :)

P.R. Reid

My Feelings: Vulnerability=Weakness

Every now and then we all go through phases where we feel that our emotions get the best of us. I know that I do my best to conceal how I feel about things and people. At times, I feel like I am doing myself a disservice by being so closed in, but then I realize that it's kept me from getting hurt on numerous occasions. I guess I have it set up in my mind that being vulnerable to new experiences/people/emotions equates to weakness on my part. I say this because mainly because I am scared of rejection especially when it may come to a person I currently like or enjoy spending my time with. I feel that if he knows too much, he could potentially use it to hurt me. It may be a really jacked up way of looking at things, but for some it works. Lately, I've been noticing that I miss the interactions I have with people...well one person in particular, but my vulnerable side tells me to keep myself as busy as possible. I've had points where I've been a mess, but I've managed to "keep it together" and that shit is SO HARD. I may look like I've got a pretty good grip, but I'm crying hard on the inside. I like to consider myself an "Emotional Nonchalant" kind of person. Meaning I CARE SO MUCH THAT I COULD CARE LESS! After a few situations that I've been through I adopted a "Love don't live here anymore" or "I have time for love...later" or my all time favorite "I'll be damned if I let another person hurt me" mentality. This has caused me to not be as content in situations as I should be, thus causing me to always question ones motive.
Also, I've been feeling like being vulnerable may not always be a bad thing! After all, my emotions are what make me a woman, and to say that I lack emotion is an outright lie! I have never thought of myself weak as a whole, but I do admit that I definitely have my weaknesses. I also think that vulnerability spawns from, I hate to say it, INSECURITY! I am intellegent, a decent person, not bad looking, and I have a body that makes men do a double take. It's a shame I have my insecurities. I fear that I am not good enough or will ever be able to sustain a healthy relationship with whom I choose. This has has materialized into "I am not ready for a relationship" or "Maybe I'm not good enough or I'm not what he really wants".

I know that I have a long way to go but THANK THE LORD I'm not where I used to be. Being vulnerable has caused me to miss out on a few things as well, and it is time for that to stop! I guess I could stop letting issues from the past be a hindrance to those I decide to let in my life. I could learn to better trust people and leave the lines of communication open! Finally, I really need to be more open with myself and others because it's OK for me not to have it together all the time! I need to stop being so damn afraid!!!

P.R. Reid

If I were and actress and could play ANY part!

It would definitely have to be this woman!!! YES, Billie Holiday! In high school, I had to do a dramatic interpretation of her life for my American History class! I read her autobiography and I read A LOT of other literature on her. Something about this woman really grabbed my attention! If I ever would want to play ANYONE in a movie or play (sans the singing), this would be exactly who I would want to play! POINT BLANK PERIOD.COM!!!

Ladies & Gentleman: No MORE EXCUSES!

It does exist!!!!

The Results: Flexi Rod Set

First off YES! I put on make up...don't do it often but I was bored...don't judge me! I didn't like the "poofiness" of it so I decided to pin the sides back!

I kinda like it...took way too much time than I'm willing to spend on my hair, but it's kinda cute!! YAY Me!!!! I'm actually kinda proud of my make up! The third pic might be a Facebook Pic! LOL

Flexi Rods: First Real Attempt

Today i decided that I wanted to not have a fro so I decided to set my hair on flexi rods! I hope it comes out OK. I'm under the dryer now so we shall see how this goes! If i can I will post pictures later!

Happy Day!

P.R. Reid

My Mountain Adventure...In A Nutshell

Back story: My dad brought the idea to me and my sister that his new "friend" wants to get to know us better so she wanted to plan a trip. It was fine by me because guess what...I wasn't payin!!! Here is kind of a rundown of some of the things that happened during the time there

Friday: We start our journey, our destination, Pigeon Forge, TN. Where Dolly Parton is the "boss bitch". The ride was extremely boring so I got out my iPod (and all of the good radio stations didn't come in good). Once we began driving though the mountains into Tennessee, it had to be one of the most majestic scenes you could ever imagine. Clearly the roads were created by blasting out portions of these mountains, but it was fascinating nonetheless. Once at our "almost destination" it took us forever to get to our final destination. We get there and everyone relaxes for a while, and dad goes to bring his "friend" to the cabin. Early night sleep...on to Saturday

Saturday: Me and my sister decided to explore the marvelous strip that our cabin was off of. Attractions galore!!! Overpriced of course, but they seemed quite interesting. We went to the Beef Jerky Outlet and got some of the best jerky I've ever experienced, and we attempted to go to the Tanger Five Oaks outlet but that shit was a bust! So we turned around and went down the other part of the strip and had lunch at Salsaritas. If anyone REALLY knows me, you know that I love my Chipotle! Nothing beats it...NOTHING! It was a pleasant surprise. Next Stop, The Christmas Place! Exactly a shop dedicated to Christmas shit...AND you could visit Santa and sit on his lap and put in those early request! Next we decided to get real daring and drive into Gatlinburg which is about 5-7 miles from Pigeon Forge. We went to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park (iThink that's what its called) and drove though it. Then we went on to the Sugarlands (another park with in the Smokies) we ended up going on a trail which was about 3/4 of a mile (the smallest they offered) because anything else would have taken too long. So we walked to Cataract Falls (an 85 foot waterfall at the park) and back into town we went. We stop at the Three Bears General Store (sounds old right?) just to take a little looksie. Then back to our cabin we go!

Sunday: Lazy shit! Back to Sugarlands to do Cataract Falls PLUS some of the 8 1/2 mile trail (that was a FAIL!! Maybe next time when we can devote a day to it). Back to the cabin to a scrumptious meal (T-Bone Steaks, asparagus, corn on the cob, and tomatoes and cucumbers). Backtrack: Before we went back to the cabin, me and sister stopped at Baskin Robbins and got a 1/2 cake roll for dessert! and it was delicious

Monday: Back to Reality....HOME SWEET HOME!

My Thoughts: So I'm just gonna list them...how about that???

• I needed this!
• I feel ready to tackle what I need to tackle
  
• Operation: Next Phase of my life
• Operation: Time to get to BUSINESS
  
• Dads friend is pretty cool
• I may not be a "nature girl" but i truly enjoyed myself
• It was a new experience and I'm all for that kind of thing

I definitely want to go back...I wonder if I can coerce some friends into going?!?

P.S. I ain't take no pics...my bad!!

P.R. Reid

RanDUMB Blurb #8: Reciprocity

"Tell me who I have to be/Go gain some reciprocity" X-Factor Lauryn Hill

According to Merriam-Webster reciprocity is the the quality or state of being reciprocal : mutual dependence, action, or influence.

Ok now that it's established I can go on with my rant...well it's not really a rant but it is definitely and idea that has crossed my mind a lot. To me reciprocity means simply give and take not just GIVE GIVE GIVE OR TAKE TAKE TAKE!!! I feel as though in friendships and relationships (obviously) there needs to be some type of equal exchange going on. One person can't always be the give/take person. It's not fair and it for damn sure isn't right! When a person really respects you and cares for you they are not always taking from you. I'm going to try and break down the characteristics of both as I have seen in my observations.

The Giver:
This is the person who has the best intentions and always seems to be right on time when there is a problem. You are there for the people you care about and you hope that the feeling is mutual. This person always has an encouraging word or at least tries to give some type of decent advice. The giver really tries to be a genuine friend, and really does their best to make sure that their pal gets through whatever it may be.

The Taker:
This person always needs attention from someone. The taker is slightly selfish, and at times rarely to almost never reciprocates. They think everyone want runs on their time, and always has a problem they want someone else to either solve or help them solve. When it is time for the taker to give advice or to sit and listen...they are either nowhere to be found or don't really have an encouraging or consoling word.

I say this to say one thing: BOTH CAN BE BAD!!!!

Seriously, no one should ever have to constantly give to another person and not get the same in a friendship or relationship. Taking too much too often is despicable, and it's surprising people even tolerate it.

Well that was on my mind...THAT IS ALL

Bye now,
P.R. Reid

The Natural Rundown....Month 1

On May 16th, I decided to chop off the rest of my relaxed hair! It was not easy but i managed to do it while I had some nerve. This transition was honestly not as easy as i thought it would be, at times it's even harder completely natural. In the past month I have colored and straightened my hair...all which I deem pretty successful.

I believe the week before my birthday I decided to color my hair a pretty color called Sun Kissed Brown by Creme of Nature. It came out pretty good but I kinda feel like the front of my hair is mad dry!

About a week ago I straightened my hair and it came out very, very nice! I am very impressed with the growth so far (besides the lopsidedness of my hair.

In this month (and a half technically) This is what I have learned a lot about my hair

3/4 quadrants of my hair curl normally. The curl "ain't quite right" in the top right quadrant of my hair making it hard to style my hair uniformly.

I am a PJ...PRODUCT JUNKIE!!!! I hate that I like to try so much stuff at one time, a habit that I am slowly starting to fall back on!

With my hair length in it's natural state, it's kinda hard to style it at this point! I enjoy my twist outs and especially my curly girl up-do I wore my birthday!!!

I have to wet my hair in order to comb and style it, right now I'm looking for some other alternative.

I am trying to battle FRIZZ...and it is an enemy LET ME TELL YOU!

SHRINKAGE...that is all!!

Herbal Essences Hello Hydration: THE SHIT...my hair loves it!!!

Goal for the next month:

1. Limit use of multiple products
2. Experiment with more hairstyles
3. Deep condition more often
4. NO STRAIGHTENING
5. Find a natural way to combat frizzies
6. Try some of my transition styles again
7. LIMIT spending on products to conditioner for co-washes!!! (More Hello Hydration)

Until next time,

P.R. Reid

RanDUMB Blurb #7: Shit, Just Talkin'!

I guess you really thought I was going to have some profound shit to say....NOT LOL!!!! Anyway, I am enjoying myself and I know it's coming to an end very soon :-( BUT no fear I'll be rejuvenated and ready to go! I have been have the most peculiar dreams lately...brace yourselves...I have been having dreams that I was pregnant! DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT PREGNANT AND JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THOSE DREAMS DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE, HAVE THE DESIRE TO BE, OR WILL BE SOON! It is the strangest thing to me. So I Googled it and while it doesn't I'm physically pregnant it simply means that I am pregnant with ideas and new beginnings...kinda fucks with it! I am headed on a new and different journey very soon and it's actually very exciting! In other news...

I finally got my Uncle Funky's Daughter Curl Stimulator last week...kinda like it! It elongates my curl and everything, BUT it makes my hair slightly hard.

Got my new flat iron last week...I got it off Amazon for $22.95 because my purple Cortex went to glory on me after 2 years of faithful and humble servitude (if i had some liquor I'd pour it out for her...yes HER!) The New New is a blue Remington digital flat iron! I can set the temperature too! (hells YEAH)

My hair color is starting to grow out...that means two things! My hair is GROWING (woot woot!!) and I might be able to color again and possibly go lighter at the top (I don't think I will, nice thought though!
I straightened my hair today...YES, I know it has been humid and a curly girl like me shouldn't be straightening but dammit I was bored and I wanted to try out my new flat iron and it would be the first time I had seen my hair straight since i cut it off last month! I freakin love that thing...I also did a silk wrap when i finished and OMG...BEAUTIFULNESS EVERYWHERE!!! The only thing is...the right side of my hair is shorter than the left, but my length is GREAT! Maybe I'll get it fixed soon...maybe I won't IDK! But I will post pictures tomorrow

Sinus headaches have been freaking killing me...I am pretty much at my wits end! Last week out of seven days I had a headache at least five of them the shit is the PITS man!!!!
I finally met my little cousin...Zoey is probably the tiniest baby I have ever seen in my life...EVER! At almost 3 months, she literally looks (and feels) like a baby doll, and she is absolutely beautiful...I love her!!!

BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE.....



I am enjoy life and everything/everyone in it!



Love,

P.R. Reid

Happy Birthday To MEEEEEEE!!!!

I know I'm late but Friday was my birthday! All and all my birthday was pretty great....and I almost thought it was going to be a fail. I got so many phone calls, texts, facebook messages, and tweets! I wish I could have thanked everyone....but anywho, I'm going to post a few pics of the day!!! Hope you likey hehe! Note: YES! I was DONE in that photo...I went home and went right to bed LOL!!! Oh and the cake was YUMMY!!!!





Later,

P.R. Reid :-P

The Coolest Thing....EVER!

My sister really effed up this time! She has put me on to an app that makes my pictures look vintage and uber fly! The application I'm talking about is called Poladroid! I am absolutely loving it, and the best part about it...its FREE. It is supposed to make all of your photos look like they came out of a Polaroid camera...awesome right?? You can even shake it using your mouse by dragging it across the screen back and forth! I am a stickler for anything old so you ALREADY know! I think I'm in love...and this is the perfect app for those who like to take pictures! The only thing is...you can only take 10 pics at a time....just like the old school camera, but all ya gots to do is quit it and the fun begins again! Below are some of the pics I've remixed so far with the app. Enjoy!


If you would like this app you can get it at www.poladroid.net! The iPhone also has an app called "Shakeit" for 99 cents as well

Audi,
P.R. Reid

My New Hair!!!!

On Sunday May 16, 2010 while I had the nerve, I cut my hair off! I had transitioned for close to a year. I thought cutting it at that particular time would help foster hair growth by the time the colder months came. After I finished cutting it all I got really scared and didn't know what to do with it...and one side was shorter than the other! Day by day I am learning to accept the way my hair is, and I am loving it! My favorite style...Wash and go! Before I let anyone see my hair now (6/3/10), imma go through the process of what it looked like beforeThis was a twist out done during my transition...LOTS of Body!!!!
GRADUATION DAY!!! (5/15/10)
And a day after I crossed the stage, I cut it and this is what it looks like today.....CURLS CURLS CURLS!!!! Ya gotta love it...I know I do! I have never had hair this short before so its really really different for me...It's scary but its summer and it is too hot for all that hair!

I think I may do regular updates...IDK yet, but I will be trying products and styles and I will post them on here just to show because I CAN DO DAT! lol

Anyways...later,
P.R. Reid

I'm The Best...I DID IT!

I am officially an alumna of North Carolina Central University and it feels SO GOOD! I always knew I would see this day, but like everything it was bittersweet! I wished my mom was there to see me, but I'm pretty sure she was right beside me ;). I also made another really big step in my life...I started over! The day after graduation I cut off my remaining relaxed hair, and it felt sooo good! I can keep my hands out of it LOL and right now my hair is pretty much wash and go and I LOVE IT! I'll definitely post a picture of it tonight! I want to sit down one day and straighten it to see how long my hair really is...now on to other stuff

As of late I am on the hunt for a job as well as studying for the GRE and applying to graduate school. Not really feeling going back in the fall, so I'm applying for the spring semester. So Imma take everything one day at a time...since it's Memorial Day I'm not gonna really start stressin about stuff until I can really get it together and do what i need to do...I have a to do list! I pick one task to accomplish...do it and move on to something else! My main concern is getting accepted in to graduate school. Once that happens I believe everything will fall into place! Right now I just have to keep myself from getting bored, lazy and fat! So I'm pretty much doing what I can do get at the least a job until December!

Well that's the bulk of my life right now....

Until next time,
P.R. Reid

I Gots A Webcam!!!

Finally I can get lazy and just say what I gotta say instead of just writing it out...of course I'll post it here! I wanted to do a vlog tonight but I'm so scared that the people in my house are gonna think I'm crazy and I'm talking to myself! LOL maybe i'll try and so a little something when everyone goes to sleep! Just give it a whirl LOL

Update: In the season of me being pretty gosh darn happy I think Imma do a list of my favorite things....wonder what I shall start with LOL! I'll just have to wait and see! I hate that my spring break is practically over...oh well! I guess its time to get back to business...no half assin from this moment forward LOL!

So until then...LATERS!!!
P.R. Reid

RanDUMB Blurb #6: Defense Mechanisms

Picture it: You are in a great courtship with someone. Everything is going well, and all of a sudden things go terribly awry! You sit back and wonder how in the world did you let this happen...you wonder why were all of my feelings in it. For some people (such as myself) we tend to not even let it get that far...you wanna know why?? We have this little thing that helps us called a DEFENSE MECHANISM! LOL

Honestly, It can be a great thing and it can be a very bad thing as well. The good part about it is that you never fully experience heartache and disappointment, because you have a wall up! The bad thing is you never can truly let someone in, and in the end you lose out on a possibly great thing. So what does a person with raised guard do??? First, Take your time. Don't let it down quickly but slowly begin to let the person you choose in a little bit a time. Nothing happens over night, and the people that we choose to let in need to understand that. Personally, I'm not mean, rude, or disinterested. I just get scared at times, and I pull away because I feel like I may "be into someone more than they are into me". I don't want a "fly-by-night" thing and I don't want my feelings hurt in the end so I tend to pull away. People with defense mechanisms are NOTORIOUS for this! In the past this has been what prevented me from pursuing all of the possibilities with certain people. Next, just be you...plain and simple! Having a wall up doesn't mean you need to become a completely different person. You are special just the way you are, and the person YOU choose to spend YOUR time with needs to see YOU for YOU!! Finally, just take a FREAKIN chance. At times it may not work in your favor, but when it does, it just FEELS SO RIGHT ;). You never know what can happen until you just pursue it, and stop over thinking all parts of it. That's the best part of letting your wall down!!

Now, by no means do I know EVERYTHING about everything, but I know what it is because I've been through it. I am also working through it too! I had to see this for myself and learn the hard way! I have let very good people go because of my insecurities and trust issues, but I have to put that aside and take a chance. We all have things we are scared of, but we really need to conquer whatever it is. We are all scared of the unknown in some aspect of our lives whether it be love or starting anew, but there is truly no need to be! WE are our defense mechanisms! We hide behind our hurt, our pain, and our pasts! We do it because it easier to hide than to man up and face it! It takes time, but trust me it is WELL worth it!

Spring Break and Other Ish

Sooooo this is my last Spring Break before I graduate, and I couldn't think of any better place to spend it than right at home! I'm pretty sure I could have found plenty things to do but I'm truly content with this. I have no complaints...thought about PCYF (pretty cool young fellow) today! Wonder what he is up to? So far I am enjoying home and family! Unfortunately people figure out you're home and want to hit you up so you can get up. If I wanted to get up, I honestly would have called to let you know. I am content with being at home solely to be around family! It's my time to rest and unwind (even though I need to start on this midterm ASAP).

I have noticed that I've been slacking on my picture thing....tsk tsk! Someone stole my camera at a house party we threw, and I have since gotten some type of foolishness....it takes fairly decent pictures. My main concerns right now are graduation and getting on this grad school thing! Everything else is secondary unfortunately.

You ever notice how good things come from where you least expect it??? It's kind of an exciting thing! All I can say is I'm enjoying it day by day for how ever long that is! No pressure...no confusion...and most importantly no drama!

That is all...for now!
P. R. Reid

RanDUMB Blurb #5: Young and In Love

OK so how does that happen? I happen to have encountered folks that are my age and are married with children and are happy. Is it an anomaly or is this something that can really happen when two people love each other. I would hope that after being together like 8 years and having three kids together you would just go ahead and tie the knot. What I want to know is how do you know that this is the person you want for the rest of your life at 21? Personally, I have yet to meet a guy that I could see myself marrying (maybe but certain things just WERE NOT in order for them). I've met my share of candidates, however, nothing deep enough for me to be like OMG...he's it. I think I have become jaded from trying to "look" for a mate when it really shouldn't be my concern. I think that when young love occurs people have been together for a while and haven't been jaded by experience and have not been with people outside of one another. I see nothing wrong with it...I actually find it quite beautiful! I just know that in my mind that I haven't become the Bitter Black Woman, and probably will never be. I'm not hating but I've always wondered what could possibly make a 20 year old say "I wanna be with this person for the rest of my life". I have yet to encounter a man wants me as much as I want him (If he does, neither one of us has said anything...so this may not be a fair statement). Hell, I haven't even encountered a man I think I could co-parent with let alone be with. Young love is beautiful...I'm not rushing it though! When it happens I will know...and that's just that!

Bye Bye,
P.R. Reid

So It's Been A Long Time

Soooo much has gone on these past few months. I have taken leaps that I thought that I was too scared to take. I am currently just anticipating graduation, but I've also been keeping company with a pretty cool young fellow ;). In the midst of all of this, I can admit that my stress level is at an all time high...hopefully when Spring Break comes around I'll be able to mellow out and just chill. With my personal life there isn't too much too say, It's something that I am pretty secretive about and it is still a situation that I'm not trying to jump the gun with. I like the day by day thing. I am the most comfortable that I have ever been with a person (In a while actually) so I want to keep it fun and light! I am able to be me and he appreciates that. I promise to write more later, but right now I have to jet! Gotta a lot to say

Later,
P.R. Reid ;)