Love

Do I believe in love at first sight? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I do believe it exists, but I feel that it's something that takes a while to happen! I have loved and I have lost, and I truly believe that's life. I have not been ruined by it, only made stronger and smarter. I'm not so beaten up by love that I don't believe in it because I still feel like *HE* is somewhere waiting for me! I will not give up hope but I will NOT let down my guard...yet :)

P.R. Reid

My Feelings: Vulnerability=Weakness

Every now and then we all go through phases where we feel that our emotions get the best of us. I know that I do my best to conceal how I feel about things and people. At times, I feel like I am doing myself a disservice by being so closed in, but then I realize that it's kept me from getting hurt on numerous occasions. I guess I have it set up in my mind that being vulnerable to new experiences/people/emotions equates to weakness on my part. I say this because mainly because I am scared of rejection especially when it may come to a person I currently like or enjoy spending my time with. I feel that if he knows too much, he could potentially use it to hurt me. It may be a really jacked up way of looking at things, but for some it works. Lately, I've been noticing that I miss the interactions I have with people...well one person in particular, but my vulnerable side tells me to keep myself as busy as possible. I've had points where I've been a mess, but I've managed to "keep it together" and that shit is SO HARD. I may look like I've got a pretty good grip, but I'm crying hard on the inside. I like to consider myself an "Emotional Nonchalant" kind of person. Meaning I CARE SO MUCH THAT I COULD CARE LESS! After a few situations that I've been through I adopted a "Love don't live here anymore" or "I have time for love...later" or my all time favorite "I'll be damned if I let another person hurt me" mentality. This has caused me to not be as content in situations as I should be, thus causing me to always question ones motive.
Also, I've been feeling like being vulnerable may not always be a bad thing! After all, my emotions are what make me a woman, and to say that I lack emotion is an outright lie! I have never thought of myself weak as a whole, but I do admit that I definitely have my weaknesses. I also think that vulnerability spawns from, I hate to say it, INSECURITY! I am intellegent, a decent person, not bad looking, and I have a body that makes men do a double take. It's a shame I have my insecurities. I fear that I am not good enough or will ever be able to sustain a healthy relationship with whom I choose. This has has materialized into "I am not ready for a relationship" or "Maybe I'm not good enough or I'm not what he really wants".

I know that I have a long way to go but THANK THE LORD I'm not where I used to be. Being vulnerable has caused me to miss out on a few things as well, and it is time for that to stop! I guess I could stop letting issues from the past be a hindrance to those I decide to let in my life. I could learn to better trust people and leave the lines of communication open! Finally, I really need to be more open with myself and others because it's OK for me not to have it together all the time! I need to stop being so damn afraid!!!

P.R. Reid

If I were and actress and could play ANY part!

It would definitely have to be this woman!!! YES, Billie Holiday! In high school, I had to do a dramatic interpretation of her life for my American History class! I read her autobiography and I read A LOT of other literature on her. Something about this woman really grabbed my attention! If I ever would want to play ANYONE in a movie or play (sans the singing), this would be exactly who I would want to play! POINT BLANK PERIOD.COM!!!

Ladies & Gentleman: No MORE EXCUSES!

It does exist!!!!

The Results: Flexi Rod Set

First off YES! I put on make up...don't do it often but I was bored...don't judge me! I didn't like the "poofiness" of it so I decided to pin the sides back!

I kinda like it...took way too much time than I'm willing to spend on my hair, but it's kinda cute!! YAY Me!!!! I'm actually kinda proud of my make up! The third pic might be a Facebook Pic! LOL

Flexi Rods: First Real Attempt

Today i decided that I wanted to not have a fro so I decided to set my hair on flexi rods! I hope it comes out OK. I'm under the dryer now so we shall see how this goes! If i can I will post pictures later!

Happy Day!

P.R. Reid

My Mountain Adventure...In A Nutshell

Back story: My dad brought the idea to me and my sister that his new "friend" wants to get to know us better so she wanted to plan a trip. It was fine by me because guess what...I wasn't payin!!! Here is kind of a rundown of some of the things that happened during the time there

Friday: We start our journey, our destination, Pigeon Forge, TN. Where Dolly Parton is the "boss bitch". The ride was extremely boring so I got out my iPod (and all of the good radio stations didn't come in good). Once we began driving though the mountains into Tennessee, it had to be one of the most majestic scenes you could ever imagine. Clearly the roads were created by blasting out portions of these mountains, but it was fascinating nonetheless. Once at our "almost destination" it took us forever to get to our final destination. We get there and everyone relaxes for a while, and dad goes to bring his "friend" to the cabin. Early night sleep...on to Saturday

Saturday: Me and my sister decided to explore the marvelous strip that our cabin was off of. Attractions galore!!! Overpriced of course, but they seemed quite interesting. We went to the Beef Jerky Outlet and got some of the best jerky I've ever experienced, and we attempted to go to the Tanger Five Oaks outlet but that shit was a bust! So we turned around and went down the other part of the strip and had lunch at Salsaritas. If anyone REALLY knows me, you know that I love my Chipotle! Nothing beats it...NOTHING! It was a pleasant surprise. Next Stop, The Christmas Place! Exactly a shop dedicated to Christmas shit...AND you could visit Santa and sit on his lap and put in those early request! Next we decided to get real daring and drive into Gatlinburg which is about 5-7 miles from Pigeon Forge. We went to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park (iThink that's what its called) and drove though it. Then we went on to the Sugarlands (another park with in the Smokies) we ended up going on a trail which was about 3/4 of a mile (the smallest they offered) because anything else would have taken too long. So we walked to Cataract Falls (an 85 foot waterfall at the park) and back into town we went. We stop at the Three Bears General Store (sounds old right?) just to take a little looksie. Then back to our cabin we go!

Sunday: Lazy shit! Back to Sugarlands to do Cataract Falls PLUS some of the 8 1/2 mile trail (that was a FAIL!! Maybe next time when we can devote a day to it). Back to the cabin to a scrumptious meal (T-Bone Steaks, asparagus, corn on the cob, and tomatoes and cucumbers). Backtrack: Before we went back to the cabin, me and sister stopped at Baskin Robbins and got a 1/2 cake roll for dessert! and it was delicious

Monday: Back to Reality....HOME SWEET HOME!

My Thoughts: So I'm just gonna list them...how about that???

• I needed this!
• I feel ready to tackle what I need to tackle
  
• Operation: Next Phase of my life
• Operation: Time to get to BUSINESS
  
• Dads friend is pretty cool
• I may not be a "nature girl" but i truly enjoyed myself
• It was a new experience and I'm all for that kind of thing

I definitely want to go back...I wonder if I can coerce some friends into going?!?

P.S. I ain't take no pics...my bad!!

P.R. Reid